Mindfulness
Purpose
Purposeful
Meditation
Breath
Practice
Love
Life
It took me a long time to come to terms with these words.
Not the words themselves but the actions of them.
Before starting a practice of getting to know these as actions & lifestyle I saw these things as 'flakey', for woman, or for the weak minded.. how wrong I was in my thought process, but it was part of the journey and an opportunity for self examination. I was an angry person inwardly who had cut themselves off from the world around me, settling quite uncomfortably into my own victimized perceptions, identifying myself as depressed, suicidal, unhappy, not knowing joy, etc, etc..
It took tragedy for me to be jolted into a more mindful state...
In the immediate days following the tragedy I was in a state of shock, tears, fears, I knew I had to change, to take that first step on the journey of the rest of my life.
I went to the book store and picked up a book called The Mindful Way Through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness [With CD] [MINDFUL WAY THROUGH DEPRE- -OS]
and it started the process of me purposefully thinking, taking more time to really notice my thoughts.I had spent so much time alone, going out only to appointments or if my ex took me out shopping for groceries, and the very odd time to go somewhere with a friend.
I had noticed in going to the dentist a yoga studio in the basement of the same building so I decided to go to a class, I was nervous because this was setting aside what had become normal for me and I was going out for myself for the first time in many years, it was very enjoying to experience, the instructors methods made me feel welcome, at ease, and mindful of me and my thoughts.. I didn't feel judged or pressured.
So I continued going and maintain going to yoga as well as practicing at home.
I no longer sleep as much.
Depression only lasts moments rather then hours or days.
Sadness now to me is as natural as breathing, it comes and goes, I don't have to fight it. The ego can be destructive.
I am a long way from completing the work that is started in me, but I am walking the journey.
This blog is my story. I hope to reflect my thoughts and progress as my journey continues.
Thanks to all the instructors, both in real life and who I have watched many hours of on youtube or other sites, who have given me teachings in body, mind, spirit..
Namaste
