The Autistic Yogi Reflects on Dealing with Hard Times and Owning Our Crap

These past years I have found that the best way for me to get through tough times is to focus on my practice. My practice to me is obviously yoga. A have a renewed energy to explore my personal practice that is away from prying eyes that allows me to comfortably explore movement patterns that are new.  
Also refusing to withdraw from people has been a major major help for me in not succumbing to the darker sides of repression and depression. Sometimes though we have moments that slap us in the face and show us that our behaviours are not acceptable, these are harsh lessons, but can add a tremendous amount of value if we find those aspects that lead to positive change.

Recently I had a falling out with a most wonderful friend. It was all my fault, in an act of self assuming indignation I said things that were far less than what consitutes indignation and was actually unrighteous anger. This drove a huge wedge between us and made this person unwilling to share in depth with me any more at this time. Instead of letting this take me down and out I will have my moment of grief and I will take a look at that aspect of me that holds onto attempting to control and manipulate to get what I want and accept that state that I am a mere participant in a divine and evolving play.

Metta

The Autistic Yogi Reflects on Yoga Teacher Training #5

This is the 4th time that I have participated in the Yoga Passage's Yoga Teacher Training.  This year is the smallest of the 4 times that I have been involved. There were 25 to 33 students in the previous trainings and now there is 14.

The major difference I feel this time around is that when I am asked to teach the group I have soo very much more surety and confidence.  I really do love sharing about yoga and anything related to the topic.

Over these 5 trainings I have developed up a curriculum for a basic 200 hour training and have considered what I would love to see in a 300 hour bridge to become a 500 hour certified teacher.

Every single training is so vastly different as the differing experiences, emotions, presentations of each person mix into the whole of the training. So much knowledge in one space.

Participating really allows me to study myself. The reactions I have with each person or each teaching.

One of the majors that I keep coming back to is - keep it in the scope of a 200 hour training. Its so easy to go off into the depths of knowledge in one topic and then invariably other topics suffer. I would much prefer to give a base foundation for a 200 hour training so that each of my students/peers is able to go beyond the basics with any other person.

Always remembering that even though I think that all I know is true, in fact I know that at least half of that is wrong. My problem is that I don't know what half. Continuously while life is present I am a student, regardless how much I teach.

Loving kindness is my daily meditation.

Metta!