Just before 10 years of age we moved from a larger community to a smaller community. It became quickly apparent that my sister and I were outliers and not welcome by our peers except for a few magnificent peers. She and I put up with for years being the target of bullies and the rumors they would create to incite other children to act on hate towards us. She had it the worst, those rumors spread like wildfire not just in our community but in communities hundreds of kilometres away. While those communities couldn't target those rumors specifically to us we knew who they were talking about when we heard them (during sports events that took us to surrounding communities).
The damage was tragic in an already hurting family.
When we finally were able to leave that community it seemed as though dealing with that calibre of bullies was over with and I chalked it up to children just being mean but now over 20 years later I know that bullies are not just a schoolyard phenomena but are very much a human condition that does not know the boundaries of age or culture. It can infect families, friend groups, and communities at large and now the social media world allows for another form of this adult bullying and it is passed off as freedom of speech. It is toxic and harmful and while most social media sites attempt to regulate and remove the most obvious of online bullying they still allow enough to creep through under the guise of freedom of speech.
The worst form of bullying in my perception is that which comes from family and friends when people distort the truth with severe embellishments so that their form of hate looks justified is a bully tactic. It is such a hard thing to face when one family member is justifying their position with bold and outright embellishments or outright lies that have no root in the truth. Forbid that you have any stain on your name already from history because it will just lead to a rooting into that justified bullying and rumor crafting. That is a well crafted rumor.
The bullying doesn't just deteriorate the target but deteriorates those that would give ear to the bully and have no desire to fact check but to listen deeply and accept as truth those rumors because of friendship, and that that friend tells another friend and so on until a whole part of the community now is led to believe in a rumor. It is much easier to escape inside a larger community but not so in a smaller one. And it destroys lives, families, friendships.
Before you throw a fiery dart take a pause and consider if its worth it beyond your own selfish desire to retaliate, otherwise you may not be better than the bully and have become a bully yourself.
How do we deal with these issues is something beyond me....
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