'What compels my breath? where does it start from?' the words reverberated through my mind. Pausing at the bottom of the exhale, no tension present, fully relaxed, blanket folded under my neck and bolster supporting my legs. Tanis was taking us through a nidra meditation of sorts and I was in a state of awareness, the more I tried to intellectualize the question in my mind the more I was leaving the mediation and deep relaxation, unable to find in me that place where the breath is compelled, for the longer I went without the breath the more that my whole body yearned for the comfort of oxygen and what ever micro elements that give us life. I allowed my body to fill to capacity on the inhale without forcing the breath, a pause at the top, there was no start or end that I could detect there either..... "Count 10 breaths, Start at 10 and count backwards"... exhale 10.... inhale 10.... exhale 9.... inhale 9..... exhale 8.... inhale 8, I counted down to 1 in this manner, breath deep and invigorating and as I got to 1 the narrative continued.... We progressed through the body. Observing without movement. We got to the heart 'What is my hearts greatest desire?'.. As my mind posited this question I tried to go through the things in life that had brought me a sense of desire; was it others? Community? Affection? Intimacy? Food? or the many other countless things in life? None of these really seamed to be the greatest desire of my heart.. Peace, Peace, Peace - This is my hearts greatest desire.
This was the end of the first day to the 7th Yoga Teacher Training that I have been involved in. This is also the largest group I have been involved in 34 students. It took 1.5 hours for us to go around the circle and share our names and story.
The amount of opinions that have been shared about Yoga Teacher Trainings I have heard now that I have been involved in this many trainings and had the opportunity to speak to many teachers and students is profound. There is the distinct split down the centre - on the one hand there are those who think there are to many trainings and to many unqualified teachers teaching yoga and then the other side that thinks there is a tremendous need for yoga teachers and the world is in need of more trainings and more teachers of yoga.
Before I can be on either side I need more information and more insight.
I do believe that Trainings should follow a protocol of sorts (a curriculum) and be held accountable to that curriculum. We can't judge a book by its cover, but only by the contents that are written in it.
The Shiva Samhita goes into the varying degrees of pracitioners (Sadhaka/Sadhika) and gives them as feeble, average, superior and supreme, it goes so far as to give some detail what benefits each of these practitioners the most.
Most people who teach yoga are more student than teacher, especially when taken in the context of the old ways, where a person served/studied under his Guru/Teacher for a period of 12 years before going out on their own (I do question whether this is in all traditions historically passed down). I have seen all these levels and I think they can be utilized to see all people in. Most likely we have tendencies that ebb and flow between them, at least for me they do. The one that hits me the most, and in a way that encourages the deepest part of my being to seek liberation is the feeble practitioner; These individuals having heard your words, your practice, your being, go away and speak harsh things and criticize without regard, they are best served with using mantra work. I do not want to be this feeble practitioner and so do personal mantra work every day. Ganesha to remove the obstacles and Gayatri to keep me focused on the pure and divine.
Our minds are immense and can lead us to so very many different perceptions and thoughts. The mind is such a blessing as we get to experience love, laughter and all the beauty of life. I love this moment.
Metta
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